In case you’ve been hiding under a rock—or maybe just too busy Googling “UFO vs. UAP” (spoiler alert: they’re the same thing)—let me enlighten you: the skies have never been busier. Every day, there’s a blurry video of “something” zipping through the air faster than a cat dodging a cucumber . But here’s the thing: maybe they’ve been living amongst us all along.
This realisation hit me harder than my cat’s judgmental stare after I dared to buy the wrong brand of kitty food. With the sale of yet another Cats Are From Venus t-shirt, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’ve inadvertently blown the lid off the feline conspiracy. The design, featuring a smug alien kitty abducting a dog into a spaceship, started as a cheeky piece of sci-fi fun. Little did I know it would become a prophetic manifesto.
Because let’s face it: cats have been ruling our lives for centuries. We feed them. We clean up after them. We spend our hard-earned money on cat toys they ignore in favor of the box it came in. And what do they give us in return? Occasional cuddles, disdainful glares, and maybe—just maybe—a glimpse into their alien overlord plans.
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
The recent surge in UAP sightings could only mean one thing: the cats are ramping up their efforts. But really, what does the future hold under their rule? Will we all be forced to worship at the altar of Venusian cats? Wait… haven’t we already been doing that?
The truth, as unsettling as it may be, is this: the cat takeover isn’t coming. It’s already here. They’ve been patiently waiting for humanity to realize it, basking in our clueless adoration while plotting their next move from the comfort of a sunbeam.
So, as you wear your Cats Are From Venus t-shirt and ponder the mysteries of the universe, remember this: it’s not the aliens we need to fear. It’s the ones we’ve been feeding all along.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my cat is staring at me with that look—half “pet me,” half “kneel before your furry overlord.” I know better than to keep them waiting.
Kids Book Illustrator Andy C Marshall 