The Art of Saying Maybe

If I’m giving my kids my full attention, I feel guilty for not creating. If I’m creating, I feel guilty for not giving my kids my full attention. It’s an endless cycle of feeling like I’m failing at everything, all the time. And yet, here I am—still parenting, still creating. Still keeping the whole wobbly mess in motion.

These two goals aren’t just at war with each other. They created each other. Without my kids, I wouldn’t have even started illustrating children’s books. I wouldn’t have been lying on the floor, exhausted, reading The Gruffalo for the tenth time and suddenly thinking, “Huh… maybe I could do this.” I wouldn’t have been sketching in the front seat of my car between lawn-mowing jobs, trying to figure out how to turn my creative spark into something real. My kids are why I make art. Art is how I imagine giving them a better life.

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

When I’m playing with my kids, my brain whispers, Shouldn’t you be working? When I’m working, my brain hisses, You should be with your kids. When I somehow manage to carve out five minutes for myself, my brain just laughs maniacally and short-circuits. I used to think I had to choose—be a great parent or be a great artist. But that’s a lie. The real trick is learning to be fully where you are in the moment.

I’ve started treating my time like an art form. Instead of chopping it up into sad little pieces where everything suffers, I try to be present. When I’m with my kids, I remind myself, This is fuel for my creativity. This is why I do what I do. Be here.When I’m working, I remind myself, This is for them. This is how I show them that pursuing your dreams is possible. I say “no” to things that don’t serve either goal—pointless scrolling, obligations that drain me, projects that don’t align with my vision. But I say yes to the things that make both parenting and art better.

So, how often do I say “no” to things that interfere with my goals? All the time. But I also say yes—to the right things, at the right time.

If you’re in the same boat, just know this: You’re not failing. You’re just living in the chaos of two dreams colliding. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. But it’s also kind of beautiful.

And one day, when my kids are grown, and I have all the time in the world to create… I bet I’ll miss the interruptions.